Successful Dating Begins With Successful Flirting

Why are some people born natural flirts and others couldn’t charm the backside of a bus if their life depended on it?

Flirting is, at its most basic, a way to meet potential partners and see if they are compatible.

Flirting is an art requiring confidence without being over the top. A successful flirt knows how to get the balance just right; too much and there is a real danger you will be labeled as “slimy” (if you’re a man) and “tarty” (if you’re a woman).

If flirting doesn’t come naturally to you, you can learn to flirt by building your confidence, believing in yourself and interacting with other people.

Here are some basic flirting tips which can be practiced anywhere.

1. Have Fun!

Flirting is fun, but only if you don’t take it too seriously. Most of the time, you’ll just?flirt with someone for a short time and then maybe never talk to them again. If you always go into?flirting expecting to?date or even marry the person you’re flirting with, you’re going to be very disappointed–and you’ll probably seem a little desperate. Remember, you’re just flirting

2. Work on your confidence and don’t become a victim

Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

Unfortunately, life tends to slap us all around a bit? from time to time but it’s important to not let these things bring us down for too long.

Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which?you excel, then focus on your?talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you’ve declared yourself a victim.

3. Fake it till you make it

Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you’re a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel! What have you got to lose?

4. Pay a compliment and receive a smile!

A genuine compliment costs nothing and yet can make someone feel so special. If someone looks great, tell them! If someone has achieved something to be proud of, tell them! Once you start making someone feel good about themselves, they are more likely to want to spend more time with you! And if someone pays you a compliment, be proud of the compliment and say "Thank you"!

5. Eye to Eye Contact

Some people struggle to make eye contact with others, which is a basic component of social interaction. Failing to make eye contact suggests to some that you’re shy; to others, it indicates rudeness or boredom. Some people have the opposite problem.

Making eye contact for a long time can indicate you’re very outgoing; to others it indicates aggression and over-confidence.

This skill is especially important when you are at a job interview; the employer will think you’re hiding something or are not confident, and most likely they won’t hire you. Although this process is as natural as breathing for many people, it’s difficult for some.

6. Pitch your voice.

Learn to vary the tone, pitch and speed of your voice. A voice rich in tones sounds far more interesting than one dull note!

7. Listen

A good flirt has the ability to get people to open up and talk about themselves.

Stop talking and try to be silent. It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening, for many people, is resisting the impulse to ‘chime in’. Many people think that silence is awkward, and want to fill it in with their own thoughts. Likewise, many think that empathy means sharing with the?listener similar experiences that the listener has had. Both?can be helpful, but they are easily abused. Put aside your own needs, and?wait for the other person to talk at their own pace.

8. Move your body!

It is often said that in face-to-face?communications, the words we speak actually account for less than 10% of the message that we convey, while?body language accounts for more than half of our message (our?tone of voice supposedly communicates the rest).Body language is important, and if your words say one thing but your body says another, the person you are speaking to is more likely to believe the message your body is communicating.

9. Smile, Smile, Smile!

Make your smile contagious! The more you smile the more people will want to know you and be around you!

10. Don’t be rude!

Flirting does not involve being sexually explicit! Nor does it involve being offensive if someone rejects your advances. If you have been flirting with someone and are not receiving positive feedback don’t get disheartened or take it personally, move on to the next person! You may want to consider a different approach if you are getting a lot of rejections.

Final Thoughts

Most flirting is just harmless?fun, and nothing will ever come of it. Every now and then, though, you’ll meet someone who you’d like to see again and who you think would also like to see you again.

Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential?boyfriends or?girlfriends, maybe even your future spouse. Don’t worry about wedding plans just yet, though; start by getting the person’s phone number.

For most people, this is the hard part, because you have to actually make your intentions known, and in doing so you risk rejection. Be brave.

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