You're in a bar. It's crowded, you're with friends, and you're all looking to meet someone new. Your eyes lock on someone across the bar, you're attracted to them physically, and soon you are introducing yourself. After a few sips of your drink and a little while into an awkward conversation, you realize that you don't have anything in common with this person and don't feel a connection. You part ways, and find another person at the bar. The same thing happens.

You go home alone, again.

This is the fundamental problem with trying to find a relationship out at a bar, dance club, caf or bookstore.

Going out to bars to find that "one" person, mustering up enough energy to introduce yourself and getting a date is, as I'm sure you know, a very hard thing to do. Also, if you don't like the bar or club scene in the first place, chances are the type of person you want to meet isn't going to be there!

Online dating cuts through all that. From the comfort of your home, without having to get prettied up or spending a lot of money, you can overcome your shyness and cruise the web for your mate. There are many sites out there, most are general in audience and members, but some are quite specific, attracting people of specific religions, sexual preferences and like interests. That's one of the best things about online dating. Besides the anonymity of the "search", you know so much about the person before you introduce yourself. You know they like the same books, music or sports and also love or hate to travel. While there are many more things to find out about the other person, a stronger foundation exists from which a relationship can be built.

The "scene" is still a bit like a bar, (men tend to seek out women and make the initial email introduction), but women are getting more eager and bold in this new meeting place. The stigma behind a woman picking up a man in a bar doesn't exist, so women feel more comfortable making that first move. If going out to bars, or relying on "chance" meetings at a coffeehouse or on the train aren't working, introduce yourself online.


So, if you do want to try the online dating scene, a few tips:

1. Going on a first online date, however, does have its downside. The pressure is there to make a "spark", so when you do make that first date, be careful not to be too overzealous, and create awkward tension with someone who may just turn out to be a new friend.

2. Having a picture online is VERY important. Physical attraction is important, and you are more likely to get response from your ad if you post a picture. It takes some of the anonymity away from the whole experience and shows that you put time and effort into your profile.

3. Speaking of time and effort...make sure you do take time to create a profile that best describes who you are.

4. Be careful! Don't meet your online date for the first (or second or third) time in a private place. And make sure that your friends (and/or family) know where you're going and the name/phone number of your date.