How to Get Your Ex Back
Posted on July 14, 2011 by Kelly Hamilton.
So you’re thinking of getting back together with your ex? It might seem like an impossible task right now. Maybe you left things on bad terms or maybe you just haven’t spoken in a few months. Whatever the situation, here are seven steps to get your ex back.
1. Question Yourself
Before you start pursuing your ex, you need to ask yourself a few questions about your past relationship. Why did you break up in the first place? Have the factors surrounding that issue changed or will it be a problem for the two of you again?
Next, think about why you are considering getting back together with someone you cut ties with. Are you really still in love or are you just tired of not having someone to love?
2. Stay Casual
Keep things casual at first by sending a text message or by connecting on Facebook. Ask what he or she has been up to or how they’ve been. Be sure to ask a straightforward, neutral question. This is very important because you want to be able to judge the answer.
Is the response short and to the point? That might be a sign that your ex isn’t interested in rekindling your lost romance. Is the response medium length with emoticons and exclamations? That means you most likely still have a shot at getting back together with your former love.
3. Single or Taken
This step is crucial. It’s important that you find out whether or not your ex is already seeing someone new. TGFF (Thank God for Facebook), right? Start by checking his or her relationship status on Facebook. Remember, not everyone likes to broadcast their marital status online, so the status might not be very helpful.
If you have no luck with the relationship status, start sifting through Facebook pictures. If one girl or guy is consistently appearing in photos with your ex, it might be a sign that your ex is taken. Just to be sure, check out his or her wall or consult with your friends.
4. Casual Meetup
If the coast is clear and your ex is still single, the next step is staging a casual meetup. If you didn’t get much indication of his or her feelings from their step two answer, pick somewhere neutral. It’s cliché, but coffee is generally a pretty good choice for something like this.
If you got the vibe that your ex is totally into reconnecting or even getting back together, pick a spot that means something to you. What about your favorite hangout as a couple or a location similar to where you went on your first date?
If you went with a location that means something to you as a couple, you’re already triggering good memories from your relationship. Fuel the fire by bringing up funny, romantic or exciting stories from your relationship. The idea is to subtly highlight the very best parts of your relationship for your ex.
Watch how your ex reacts. If he or she tenses up when you reminisce, it might be a sign that your ex isn’t ready to get back together. In this case, he or she is feeling guarded about the meetup. If your ex seems relaxed during the stories, he or she could be ready to try again.
6. Get Personal
If everything is smooth sailing so far, kick it up a notch. Make the meetups more and more personal. Begin having fewer surface conversations. Ask more intimate questions and introduce subtle physical contact. Eventually, you will be reconnected enough to have your second first date.
7. History Repeats
History has a way of repeating itself. Don’t let that happen to you! Pay attention to the signals your ex is giving during steps two through six. For example, if you broke up because your ex was too clingy, think about how much time you’ve been spending with friends lately. Has that time decreased in favor of spending it with your ex?
Unless the leading factor that split you up changes, your relationship will end the same way it did the first time. If you or your friends see you heading down the same old road with your ex, it could be a sign that the relationship is simply not meant to be.
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